Happy Veterans Day!

Quote of the Day:

It is the soldier, not the reporter, who has given

us freedom of the press. It is the soldier, not the

poet, who has given us freedom of speech. It is

the soldier , not the organizer who has given us

freedom to demonstrate. It is the soldier, who

salutes the flag, who serves beneath the flag and

whose coffin is draped by the flag, who allows

the protester to burn the flag.

--Charles M Province

I tried to post this yesterday on Veterans day but it wouldn't let me load the photo because the internet is slow here. This is a picture in front of our plane with some Bulgarian and African soldiers. It has been an interesting experience here and its interesting to see how all of this plays a part in the big picture. I am thankful for the opportunity to be here, it has opened my eyes to many things. Like How I am thankful to be an American. It is truly a wonderful country and I am thankful for all those who have offered up there lives so that it is possible to live in freedom. I am thankful for those who are presently fighting for our freedom who take time away from their families so that they and we might have better lives. I'm thankful also for the opportunity to serve. I am a better person for it and it has given me strength that I didn't even know that I had. And it has presented opportunities such as these that I otherwise would never have had. With out these veterans, and the brave souls that have given their life our country wouldn't be what it is today. No.. its not perfect, but considering the places i've seen its pretty darn great, so when you see someone who is wearing the uniform thank them for their sacrifice. They do it so you don't have to, So from me to all the service men and women out there past and currently serving...THANK YOU!

The Adventures of Jess of the Air Force

Quote of the Day:

Be Thankful for what you do have; you'll end up

having more. If you concentrate on what you don't

have, you will never have enough.

--Oprah Winfrey

I really wish I had some photos to go along with this post to emphasize my point but they won't load or will take hours. I had the opportunity to go with my unit to Africa for a short mission and I always enjoy going on these tours because they always open my eyes to all the blessings I have being an American. I wasn't prepared for what I would see on this trip. Our Commander told us not to have any expectations for this trip. I'm not sure which part he was talking about, the work itself or what we would see. Imagine having five children and not having a place to sleep. You carry mats around and sleep in an abandon children. You sit on the road everyday in hopes that one of the 1.7 million people in the city will walk by and give you some hope. The first time I left the hotel grounds kids ran up to me asking me for food. I walked past a 3 year old girl taking a dump in a plastic bag and begging for food at the same time. She then walked over to the drainage ditch and dumped it in there. I have problems going on certain toilets in America, I can't imagine going in a plastic bag on the side of the road in Africa for everyone to see. The homes are plywood huts with tarps and what ever they can find to put it together. What I make in one day takes these people two months to earn. And these are a kind happy people for the most part. We showed a couple of our drivers the night vision goggles we had and they said "Oh America cool" and I think these men who speak very little english and work long hours to make much less than I do have got it right. America is cool, and how lucky are we to live there. Even the poorest of people get the food on their table for their children. They have a roof over their head and a place to sleep that doesn't consist of a dirt floor. How dare we complain of having a hard life, how dare we think our lot is hard compared to everyone elses. I know the Lord doesn't give us anymore than we are able to bare but I think we lose sight that we are truly blessed. I always joke about there being starving children in China, but now that I have seen first hand the starving people of Africa I doubt I will ever take anything I have for granted. Till next time.

Quotes of the Day:

I could not at any age be content to take my place in

the corner by the fireside and simply look on.

Eleanor Roosevelt

We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so

as to accept the life that is waiting for us.

Joseph Campbell

I could not decide on one single quote today. So you get two. This is one of my favorite ones by Eleanor Roosevelt, she is one of my heros and this quote fits me so well. And as for this second one it has gotten my attention as of late with everything going on in my life. I guess inside me since I was a little girl I've always known that I was meant to do something. Something different. I know everyone grows up thinking that way but sometimes they loose sight of it I guess. These pictures posted represent a time line in the last few years of my life. The first one is when I sold my sould to the devil or the U.S Government whichever you prefer, the next one was taken at my basic graduation, the third was taken in Saudi Arabia on my first deployment, the fourth was at my homecoming (which I must say was the most rewarding moment in my life up to date) and the fifth was some training we were doing in Wendover. I pick these two quotes because in my life and around here I don't believe I fit the norm. I look at friends facebook pages I went to highschool with and it seems like they have the american dream. Married, 3 to 4 kids white pickett fence. The whole nine yards. I envy them, because at one point in time that was what I wanted. I still do. But I am not a very patient person as you who know me well know. I was not about to sit around and wait for someone to make my life happen. I went and grabbed the bull by the horns. I have done things that I have never imagined would be possible in my life. They are things I never thought or never planned to do. When life throws you lemons.....you sign up for the military fight for freedom and see the world. Atleast thats what I did. And I've enjoyed every moment. Life is too short to live safe i've decided. I've planned for a while to get my degree i was enrolled at weber state this semester and have decided to withdraw because of an upcoming tasking to Africa with my unit, and I get home just in time to start training for a deployment to Iraq. I will miss out on a year for school and was a little upset about it. But then after thinking about it I realized, I'm goin to freakin Africa!!!! There will always be time to come back and go to school. This is where the second quote comes into play. I've had this life planned out for a while and I decided not to go with where it is planned but to go see what else is out there waiting for me. If I have to give up part of who I am or sacrifice here and there so that my friends out there can live the American Dream then I am truly honored to do it. I may not be famous in my endeavors, no one may ever know my name, but knowing in my heart that if what I am doing, the road that I am traveling makes a difference in just one persons life or even in my life then I will be content not living the life that I envy.

Just Keep Swimming, Just Keep Swimming......

Quote of the Day:

All your life you are told the things you cannot do.

All your life they will say you're not good enough or

strong enough or talented enough; they will say you're the

wrong height or the wrong weight or the wrong to play this

or be this this or achieve this. THEY WILL TELL YOU NO,

a thousand times no, until all no becoming meaningless.

All your life they will tell you no, quite firmly and very

quickly. AND YOU WILL TELL THEM YES!

---Nike Ad

I started running last summer, not really with any goal in sight just to get in shape I guess. I have my running buddy Kim, (who happens to be my real life hero). We were up to five miles last summer and then when school started and winter hit all that went down the drain. This summer Kim has talked me into a Half Marathon, which I have always been afraid of doing because it is very intimidating to me. It has actually been quite enjoyable training this summer. Who ever would have thought running would be enjoyable but let me tell you why. Running Sucks. It has taken a very long time for me to get to the point where I enjoy it. It just plain sucks. But this summer I have realized a few things. I realized that working out is supposed to suck. The moment that working out gets easy is the moment that you are doing it wrong and you aren't pushing yourself. I've realized that if you aren't pushing yourself, there will be no improvement. That you gotta try each day to do better than the day before. I've realized that you have to have small goals for that improvement. Alot of people go into working out thinking that they have to get to 5 miles and that goal is too big and they don't work out at all cuz they think they never will get there. Which comes to the next thing, I've realized that you don't get there in one day or even a week, its small baby steps. I've also realized that 80% of what I do is pushing myself mentally. Whenever Kim and I are having a rough day we always say to eachother "who's stupid Idea was this" and we hurt, we get cramps but we gotta "Just keep swimming just keep swimming". My friend Kim is my hero, She has Crohns and about two years ago she almost died from it. Six months after the hospital stay she did a full marathon without hardly any training. She gets up with me every morning when she can use her sickness as an excuse to stay in bed. I've seen her doubled over in pain but she still pushes through. I have a perfectly healthy body, I have no reason not be out there. I don't know if Kim has realized the impact that she has on me or the example she has set just by walkin out her door every morning. It's the sucky part that makes it great. The hard work that you put into it that makes it worth it. Knowing that you do something that not everyone can do is very rewarding. And when you work through the pain and the cramps and push yourself you get stronger. Not only physically but mentally as well. So my advice for the day, when you are down, feelin pain or have "cramps" don't give up. These moments will only make you stronger. When it seems that no one believes in you and you think you can't make it through. Keep pushing. You'll be surprised how far you can keep going. ( I am not just talking about running) Ya gotta just keep swimming and we'll see you at the finish line :)

Take time to smell the roses.... i mean daisies.

Quote of the day:

It is easy to forget about how perfectly life works out.

When you are down, you believe that things never work in your

favor. But if you look back you see that, in many cases, things happened

exactly the way they needed to.

So I haven't added on in a very long time but here I am. They will get more frequent as I leave my family and do a second tour over seas for the military. Because I am deploying I have moved back home and I must say its very humbling to be 28 and moving back into mom and dads basement. It is the best option at the moment and I need to be close to my family before I leave. You never how short life can be. Since I've moved home I have seen my parents compete in their gardening. It is actually quite cute. I have talked to my mom about the weeds that have been growing along with her beautiful flowers. And how certain people, after seeing the yard in all of its vibrant beauty only point out the weeds. How depressing is that??? To be in the midst of one of Gods most beautiful creations and only see these uninviting weeds. The same goes with life. We are so focused on the weeds that we don't enjoy the enticing flowers of life. And so here is my quote for the day. While we are so busy looking at the weeds and feeling sorry for ourselves, we may not realize that maybe some weeds could do us some good. If it weren't for the weeds we would not enjoy the elegance of these flowers. My life has not turned out the way that I had imagined it. Far off. I've done and do things that not everyone would agree with. But the weeds in my garden are needed. They are just as much a part of me as the daisies are. I've come to believe that everything in life happens for a reason and that everyone is in your life for a reason. Whether big or small. Looking back over the years I have realized that I have gotten the exact "garden" that I have wanted. I went on the scenic route to get there, and I'm still not there yet but well on my way. Life is too short to focus on just the weeds. You pull them up or let them grow, either way they are always there. Enjoy the weeds and smell the flowers. Once you sit back and reflect the splendor of your "garden" and how wonderful how it is just to be able to be alive the weeds will appear small, compared the magnificence around you.

Actually... it's hardwork ever after....

Quote of the Day:

Stop looking for Prince Charming.

Cinderella's already got him.

--Ilene Beckerman

After a few conversations i've had with friends today, I came up with this idea for a post. Granted I've never been married but..... i've had alot of friends tell me their experiences and I've had some experience within the realms of relationships. This is what I have figured out.... That divorce is all Cinderella's fault. Ok maybe not just Cinderella, Snow White and Sleeping Beauty too. Ok lets just blame Walt Disney. He could be a catch all for all the problems in relationships and this is why; ever since we were five years old we've been brainwashed in thinking that once you find your prince charming you will live happily ever after. That is a good 15 to 20 years of brainwashing that we can't seem to get out of our heads. Once we start to date and get toward the marrying age we look for men that are in these fairytales. When we get older there are the chick flicks that we watch and sigh "I want to find a man like that!" Well the sad reality is that they don't exist! There is no such thing as prince charming, or the knight in shining armor. Its all jibberish!!!! Now ladies, I'm not saying that we should just settle for what is right in front of us. No, No, No, no. What I'm saying that we should know what WE want and WE shouldn't be afraid to go out and get it! I refuse to be the damsel in distress waiting for my hero to come along to sweep me off my feet and make my life happen. These ideas that we get into our head since the time we were five end up leading to disappointment. I was talking to a friend of mine who's husband, shall we say, is the girl of the relationship. He doesn't even do the stuff in the movies. Life is never going to be happily ever after. Neither are relationships. They are hard work and from both parties. If anything is one sided it won't work either. Believe me i'm an expert on that one. The sooner we realize, that just because men don't like to cuddle doesn't mean they love us any less, the better of we will be. But don't worry men, this doesn't let you off the hook either. Relationships are hard, and at one point one or both of you will want to get out, but if you both have the same end game in sight, you'll make it there together and live in hardwork ever after ;)

Quote of the day:

When you're feeling your worst, thats when you

get to know yourself the best.

--Leslie Crossman

This picture is unfortunately me. Ha ha I look hideous! This was me playin with my new web cam a little bit. But you don't know how many times I have looked in the mirror and seen and felt this way. All you ladies know what i'm talking about. I gotta tell ya its just felt lately like nothin I do is ever good enough. With anything! With school, work, and don't get me started on men, even with the military sometimes. There are things that I have just come to accept. Some of it is sad but i'm an emotional girl what can i say? Oh wait that is one of them! I'm a girl and I'm emotional. I know i will be even more so one week out of every month. I accept that. I also know and have accepted my luck with men, as pathetic as it is. I've also accepted that I will never be a size 2. or a 4. or a 6 for that matter. Nor do i want to. The upkeep is just too hard. Shoot I'd be happy with a ten right now. Its when ya sit down and look inward when you realize all of this and at times its very humbling. Doing your monthly soul maintenance to see if there is anything on the insides that needs some fine tuning. And its even more humbling when you find all these things that need it. So what do you do? Let it all out on the person that gets the highest emotional rise out of you and then you go work out. Which worked sadly, today.... why cant all my problems be solved chocolate and icecream. But those as good as they are, don't always help. Its looking deep inside and finding all the things that aren't quite right. Taking responsibility for them and deciding to change it.

Quote of the Day:

You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in

the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you.

--Walt Disney

I am not looking for any sympathy by this post, more like venting and looking for acceptance for myself. I am having a hard time not being angry, and like a woman, I am festering and dwelling on something that I should be letting go. But at what point do you let it go, or would you rather change something so you don't have to experience it again. I do not think of myself as a "fake" person. With me what you see is what you get, and if I'm betrayed, then I do not allow that person back in to let them do it to me again. Life sucks sometimes! It really does and at times you getting pulled in a million different directions and you don't know how you are going to keep all the pieces together. And then...... You get kicked in the face. What do you do in these instances? Do you start crying? The pain of that kick is evidently there, its not something that you can just forget about. Or do just keep plugging along like that kick never happened even though there may be blood loss, or in my case pride. How do you keep from getting kicked again? Well naturally you put of barriers so it won't happen again. But do you really want to walk around with these extra barriers up? It gets heavy at times. Which is why I may be struggling. I love this quote, because it shows me that in all bad things, there is probably a little bit of good that can come from it. There are times when we have to look really hard for the good, but it is always there.