Life in Massachusetts

 

 Quote of the Day

 

No, this is not the beginning of a new chapter in my life; this is the beginning of a new book! that first book is already closed, ended and tossed into the seas; this new book is newly opened, has just begun! Look, it is the first page! And it is a beautiful one!

 

--C. Joybell

Well I have lived in Massachusetts for two months now and I almost feel guilty when I say that I absolutely love it. Especially in the fall! It is so beautiful here! I have yet to find a job but its been fun to be driven around and shown a lot of what Massachusetts has to offer. I'm enjoying the free time while I have it because I know it won't be around forever and it has been a very long time since I've had it. 

 

 

These pictures were taken on top of Mount Greylock. We went there on Dave's day off but didn't realize it was Columbus Day and there was a big hike going on and there were TONS of people. You can climb to the top of the tower through a narrow spiral staircase that makes you clasterphobic and dizzy but you can see Vermont and New York from there. 

 

All the trees are changing color and I wish my camera did it justice, it can never capture how beautiful it really is. I almost want to get a better camera and learn a thing or two about photography and walk around taking pictures all day. 

 

If you had asked me if I ever pictured myself married and living in Massachusetts I would have thought you were crazy. I had a plan and goals for life and it is very humbling starting over at the age of 30. 

 

 But I am so excited for my new adventure with the man I love and the scenery I've only seen in puzzles. :)

 

My Little SOC Puppets

Quote of the Day:

I had the blues because I had no shoes until

upon the street, I met a man with no feet.

These are pictures of the SOC guards. SOC stands for something but I'm not entirely sure what it is. They are from Uganda and sign up for not months but years to work here in Iraq. Only a few of them are armed with AK-47's. Which makes me nervous because I'm not sure they really know how to use them. But they do the same job as we do and get paid less than we do. I'm not sure what the economy is like in Uganda but if it's anything like Mali my heart goes out to them.

They aren't allowed as much as we are on base. No cameras no ipods or anything and I think they make maybe $800 a month but its alot more than they would make back home. In Uganda its ok to have more than one wife as long as you can afford it and men still give the father of the bride cattle in order to marry them. These are the ones that I have been around the most but I think a majority of them know who I am now even at different posts that I don't work out. One of them, Michael is his name, told me that they like me because I talk to them and I'm nice. Apparently there are alot of troops over here who don't even say a word to them. The one above is Herbert and I turned on my ipod one morning and he asked for me to play Lady Gaga and he got the biggest grin on his face and started dancin to it. It totally made my day.

This here is Victor, one of the older ones here. I think some of them thought I liked him because I asked what his name was. He actually asked me to take his picture with him posed like this. ha ha

This is my dear Emilee, I love her like a little sister, she is 22 and has been here for 2 years I think. I don't know how long for sure, but I really wish I could bring her home with me and give her a life in America. She is the cutest thing and she keeps all the boys in line. They really enjoy music and we will be searching vehicles and Emilee will start singing and its so funny. The radio broke in the search pit and they went a couple weeks without music. I decided to go and buy them one to put in the search pit and when I brought it up to them they were so excited and they all gave me hugs. They even "God Blessed" my family. A simple act like that made a huge difference to my little SOC puppets, what is pocket change to me, simple 40 bucks for a new radio is something they can't even afford to buy for themselves. I'm so glad that i've been able to meet these happy people. They are in the same if not worse situation and they always seem happy for things like a radio that we always take for granted. I will never forget my little SOC puppets

Happiness is in the mind of the beholder

I have realized in the last couple of months just how important a good mental attitude is. The only thing that is holding alot of people back is what is in their head. It's amazing the power of the mind. My mind has held me back plenty but it has also helped me survive the monotony of a security forces deployment :) I was sitting outside my CHU in a fold up chair because my AC went out in my room on the hottest day we've had so far. It was actually cooler outside in the wee hours of the morning than it was inside.


I was reading an article in a Self magazine called HONK IF YOU'RE HAPPY, and it talks about how we can find happiness in the most unexpected places. The author was referring to bumper stickers but it made me reflect on my own life and how I've managed to be happy in one of the most unexpected places in the world-Baghdad Iraq. In this article she lists the different bumper stickers that she has seen and what they mean to her, and I enjoyed them so I am going to share them with you.

1. Not all who wander are lost.

There are alot of times where we look different upon others because of the way that they choose their life. It may appear to be judgemental at times and we think that we know the best for others. Just because someone chooses a different path means they are lost. It just may mean they are taking a different route to get to the same destination it may be harder or simpler but it works for them.

2. Those who discourage your dreams have likely

abandoned their own.

3.Don't believe everything you think

4.Honk if you love Jesus.

5. A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle.

Now this one is something that I would have written down and agreed whole heartedly with a few years ago, but the author gives the opposing arguement on this one that I liked. "A healthly dependency is when you can let yourself lean on someone to do for you what you can't do for yourself. Thats not weak. That's Human" I thought that I had to do everything myself to prove how strong I was especially since i've been in the military.

6. If at first you don't succeed, redefine success

This one just gives me hope. Who's to say that life and success are so black and white, why can't their be a little gray area in there, and why can't there be multiple steps to success.

7.I'm not perfect, but parts of me are fantastic.

This one just makes me happy all on its own. :)

8. The truth shall set you free, but first it will piss you off

I think there are too many Debbie Downers and Negative Nancies in this world, and one mental adjustment can change so many things. To many, we are stuck in the desert experiencing ground hog day everday and are already counting down the days. To me I look at it as a single girls paradise. Here I am surrounded by men making a lot more money than I would at home, I get to carry a gun and sometimes two, I don't have to cook someone does it for me, even have someone to do my laundry if I wanted them too. There is always something good that can be derived in any situation. We just have to look for it, sometimes we may just have to squint to see it but its always there.

Good Neighbor Program

Quote of the Day:

I brought children into this dark world because it needed the

light only a child could bring.

--Liz Armbuster

Here are a few pictures from the other day from what is called the Good Neighbor Program, where we get a bunch of packages together and hand them to some Iraqi families living on base. I can't explain the extenuating circumstances as to why they are living on base but just that it was getting unsafe for them to live among the general populace. What an awesome experience it was to meet these little children, I always have had a soft spot in my heart for them, anywhere in the world actually not just here. In my travels to here and to Africa it has been the children that have affected me and taught me the most. As I was sitting there watching these children play I was lost in thought, wondering what it would have been like to have been in this country when the war first started, how scary it would have been for them during the first attacks. For a second I was angry with our country, but then I then I realized that most of these children were not old enough or were probably babies when we bombed Baghdad, and that they know no different than war. But what would there life had been like had we not intervened? I've heard of Saddam kidnapping and raping women and writing to their families asking them if they want to kill her or if he should so she wouldn't dishonor their family. What if that were to become of my new friends in these pictures. I personally don't care if Saddam had weapons of mass destruction, he was a horrible and murderous leader and the road to rebuilding this country has to start somewhere and even if its just a little bit better than what it was while he was in power then I think we have succeeded. I am over here in the last stages of our presence here. Operation Iraqi Freedom is over making way for New Dawn, as I see some rubble left over from 8 years ago I am reminded that this country has come a long way and these little children are the future. Who knows we may be back in ten years and these children could be who we are fighting but I would like to have more hope than that. There are other countries falling apart around us, this world is turning into a dark place, but as long as we still have hope in the sparkling eyes and smiles of children like these adorable Iraqi girls then there is still hope for us all.

Quote of the Day:

Difficult times have helped me to understand better

than before, how infinitely rich & beautiful life is in

everyway, & that so many things that one goes

worrying about are of no importance whatsoever.

I was hoping to get on here more while i'm gone and I have not been doing a very good job, that and I hate blogs without pictures and I haven't been taking very many pictures here. I'm a slacker I know. But this is what my life has resulted to. From my queen sized bed down to a twin. From my huge closet down to a teeny wall locker and having to wear the same uniforms day in and day out. My life is so drab! But the awesome thing about this is, is that it could always be worse. I spent months stressing about this deployment, and it's more the unknown that gets to me. But instead of being bummed that don't have my queen sized bed that I can sprawl out in I am thankful that my twin sized bed isn't a cot and my "Chu" isn't a tent. And even though I have to tuck my shirt in everywhere I go and that I have to sport my pink reflective belt, instead of my red heels, it could definitely be worse. Life is full of rich and beautiful moments, its AMAZING! But I think some people are so busy worrying that they can't stop and breathe for a second and realize how beautiful life really is. And this is coming from someone in Baghdad Iraq.... so if you are home with your family, wearing anything you want, eating whatever you want, going anywhere you want and you can't find a beautiful thing there, shame on you! Life is not something to just watch pass you buy its something to be experienced to the fullest! So when you are old and looking back at the years of your life you are able to do it without worry and without regrets. Write down all the things in your life that are beautiful and make you happy the next time you are feeling down. Most of the times you feel that way it is your outlook and not the situation and if we focus more on the beauties of life the happier we will be. I know when I'm old and look back at all of my adventures and experiences there is one word I want to describe my life. ORGASMIC!! On the top of your list pick one word, just one word to describe the life you want, and do everything possible to make it happen. If you don't, you are only cheating yourself. Till next time!

From Nail Polish to Camoflauge

11 Things Every Woman Deserves in Life

1. A friend who takes your side and has the guts to tell you when you're wrong.
2. One Item of clothing that instantly makes you feel twice as beautiful and half as nervous.
3. The occasional good cry, for no particular reason.
4. A man who just cannot get enough of your body.
5. Atlease as much pay as the guy at the next desk who does the same job.
6. A same sized friend with an incredible closet.
7. A really hot, really fast read car. Failing that, really hot red shoes you can run in.
8. The expensive toilet paper.
9. To sometimes lie back and take and take in bed.
10. A grandparent equivalent: wise, huggable, all ears.
11. A LIFE IN WHICH YOU PLAY THE STARRING ROLE!!!

I have enjoyed that little list, especially the last one as you can tell and later I will tell you why. I am about to embark on another adventure, and on all of my trips there has been one constant thing that I have longed for on them all. As pathetic as it sounds it has been nail polish. For my civilian job I have to dress up. From getting my hair done and nails done to sportin those sexy heels. My friend Kim tells me that I am the only girl that she knows that can be so girly and still kick ass. I enjoy my double life, there are times where I have to put my girliness aside and go serve my country. This was my first trip to Saudi Arabia in 2008.

I'm about to head overseas again and with a full stock of nail polish :) I am looking at this trip as a chance to better my life. On my down time I will be training for a half marathon that I promised Kim I would do with her when I get home. I have also made other goals that I wish to accomplish while I am there. I will not be as lazy as I was on this last one and I will take advantage of this opportunity that our government has given me yet again. What a better way to push the reset or restart button than to be taken out of the normal hum drum of life and be able to look at it from a different angle and be able to fix those things that we all want to. Repair my outlook on life, forget the regrets and wasted time. Get Healthy! Not just in Shape! I have used this blog for things that I have learned and I will continue to do so but more frequently while I am gone so if you would like you can keep tabs you can. I don't ever expect to come home the same person, even if I never see combat the situation always changes me. It sucks to leave all of the time but I am honored to do it and it always makes coming home the greatest thing in all the land. So please make sure your seats and tray tables are in their full upright position..... its gonna be a wild ride :D

Happy Veterans Day!

Quote of the Day:

It is the soldier, not the reporter, who has given

us freedom of the press. It is the soldier, not the

poet, who has given us freedom of speech. It is

the soldier , not the organizer who has given us

freedom to demonstrate. It is the soldier, who

salutes the flag, who serves beneath the flag and

whose coffin is draped by the flag, who allows

the protester to burn the flag.

--Charles M Province

I tried to post this yesterday on Veterans day but it wouldn't let me load the photo because the internet is slow here. This is a picture in front of our plane with some Bulgarian and African soldiers. It has been an interesting experience here and its interesting to see how all of this plays a part in the big picture. I am thankful for the opportunity to be here, it has opened my eyes to many things. Like How I am thankful to be an American. It is truly a wonderful country and I am thankful for all those who have offered up there lives so that it is possible to live in freedom. I am thankful for those who are presently fighting for our freedom who take time away from their families so that they and we might have better lives. I'm thankful also for the opportunity to serve. I am a better person for it and it has given me strength that I didn't even know that I had. And it has presented opportunities such as these that I otherwise would never have had. With out these veterans, and the brave souls that have given their life our country wouldn't be what it is today. No.. its not perfect, but considering the places i've seen its pretty darn great, so when you see someone who is wearing the uniform thank them for their sacrifice. They do it so you don't have to, So from me to all the service men and women out there past and currently serving...THANK YOU!

The Adventures of Jess of the Air Force

Quote of the Day:

Be Thankful for what you do have; you'll end up

having more. If you concentrate on what you don't

have, you will never have enough.

--Oprah Winfrey

I really wish I had some photos to go along with this post to emphasize my point but they won't load or will take hours. I had the opportunity to go with my unit to Africa for a short mission and I always enjoy going on these tours because they always open my eyes to all the blessings I have being an American. I wasn't prepared for what I would see on this trip. Our Commander told us not to have any expectations for this trip. I'm not sure which part he was talking about, the work itself or what we would see. Imagine having five children and not having a place to sleep. You carry mats around and sleep in an abandon children. You sit on the road everyday in hopes that one of the 1.7 million people in the city will walk by and give you some hope. The first time I left the hotel grounds kids ran up to me asking me for food. I walked past a 3 year old girl taking a dump in a plastic bag and begging for food at the same time. She then walked over to the drainage ditch and dumped it in there. I have problems going on certain toilets in America, I can't imagine going in a plastic bag on the side of the road in Africa for everyone to see. The homes are plywood huts with tarps and what ever they can find to put it together. What I make in one day takes these people two months to earn. And these are a kind happy people for the most part. We showed a couple of our drivers the night vision goggles we had and they said "Oh America cool" and I think these men who speak very little english and work long hours to make much less than I do have got it right. America is cool, and how lucky are we to live there. Even the poorest of people get the food on their table for their children. They have a roof over their head and a place to sleep that doesn't consist of a dirt floor. How dare we complain of having a hard life, how dare we think our lot is hard compared to everyone elses. I know the Lord doesn't give us anymore than we are able to bare but I think we lose sight that we are truly blessed. I always joke about there being starving children in China, but now that I have seen first hand the starving people of Africa I doubt I will ever take anything I have for granted. Till next time.

Quotes of the Day:

I could not at any age be content to take my place in

the corner by the fireside and simply look on.

Eleanor Roosevelt

We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so

as to accept the life that is waiting for us.

Joseph Campbell

I could not decide on one single quote today. So you get two. This is one of my favorite ones by Eleanor Roosevelt, she is one of my heros and this quote fits me so well. And as for this second one it has gotten my attention as of late with everything going on in my life. I guess inside me since I was a little girl I've always known that I was meant to do something. Something different. I know everyone grows up thinking that way but sometimes they loose sight of it I guess. These pictures posted represent a time line in the last few years of my life. The first one is when I sold my sould to the devil or the U.S Government whichever you prefer, the next one was taken at my basic graduation, the third was taken in Saudi Arabia on my first deployment, the fourth was at my homecoming (which I must say was the most rewarding moment in my life up to date) and the fifth was some training we were doing in Wendover. I pick these two quotes because in my life and around here I don't believe I fit the norm. I look at friends facebook pages I went to highschool with and it seems like they have the american dream. Married, 3 to 4 kids white pickett fence. The whole nine yards. I envy them, because at one point in time that was what I wanted. I still do. But I am not a very patient person as you who know me well know. I was not about to sit around and wait for someone to make my life happen. I went and grabbed the bull by the horns. I have done things that I have never imagined would be possible in my life. They are things I never thought or never planned to do. When life throws you lemons.....you sign up for the military fight for freedom and see the world. Atleast thats what I did. And I've enjoyed every moment. Life is too short to live safe i've decided. I've planned for a while to get my degree i was enrolled at weber state this semester and have decided to withdraw because of an upcoming tasking to Africa with my unit, and I get home just in time to start training for a deployment to Iraq. I will miss out on a year for school and was a little upset about it. But then after thinking about it I realized, I'm goin to freakin Africa!!!! There will always be time to come back and go to school. This is where the second quote comes into play. I've had this life planned out for a while and I decided not to go with where it is planned but to go see what else is out there waiting for me. If I have to give up part of who I am or sacrifice here and there so that my friends out there can live the American Dream then I am truly honored to do it. I may not be famous in my endeavors, no one may ever know my name, but knowing in my heart that if what I am doing, the road that I am traveling makes a difference in just one persons life or even in my life then I will be content not living the life that I envy.

Just Keep Swimming, Just Keep Swimming......

Quote of the Day:

All your life you are told the things you cannot do.

All your life they will say you're not good enough or

strong enough or talented enough; they will say you're the

wrong height or the wrong weight or the wrong to play this

or be this this or achieve this. THEY WILL TELL YOU NO,

a thousand times no, until all no becoming meaningless.

All your life they will tell you no, quite firmly and very

quickly. AND YOU WILL TELL THEM YES!

---Nike Ad

I started running last summer, not really with any goal in sight just to get in shape I guess. I have my running buddy Kim, (who happens to be my real life hero). We were up to five miles last summer and then when school started and winter hit all that went down the drain. This summer Kim has talked me into a Half Marathon, which I have always been afraid of doing because it is very intimidating to me. It has actually been quite enjoyable training this summer. Who ever would have thought running would be enjoyable but let me tell you why. Running Sucks. It has taken a very long time for me to get to the point where I enjoy it. It just plain sucks. But this summer I have realized a few things. I realized that working out is supposed to suck. The moment that working out gets easy is the moment that you are doing it wrong and you aren't pushing yourself. I've realized that if you aren't pushing yourself, there will be no improvement. That you gotta try each day to do better than the day before. I've realized that you have to have small goals for that improvement. Alot of people go into working out thinking that they have to get to 5 miles and that goal is too big and they don't work out at all cuz they think they never will get there. Which comes to the next thing, I've realized that you don't get there in one day or even a week, its small baby steps. I've also realized that 80% of what I do is pushing myself mentally. Whenever Kim and I are having a rough day we always say to eachother "who's stupid Idea was this" and we hurt, we get cramps but we gotta "Just keep swimming just keep swimming". My friend Kim is my hero, She has Crohns and about two years ago she almost died from it. Six months after the hospital stay she did a full marathon without hardly any training. She gets up with me every morning when she can use her sickness as an excuse to stay in bed. I've seen her doubled over in pain but she still pushes through. I have a perfectly healthy body, I have no reason not be out there. I don't know if Kim has realized the impact that she has on me or the example she has set just by walkin out her door every morning. It's the sucky part that makes it great. The hard work that you put into it that makes it worth it. Knowing that you do something that not everyone can do is very rewarding. And when you work through the pain and the cramps and push yourself you get stronger. Not only physically but mentally as well. So my advice for the day, when you are down, feelin pain or have "cramps" don't give up. These moments will only make you stronger. When it seems that no one believes in you and you think you can't make it through. Keep pushing. You'll be surprised how far you can keep going. ( I am not just talking about running) Ya gotta just keep swimming and we'll see you at the finish line :)

Take time to smell the roses.... i mean daisies.

Quote of the day:

It is easy to forget about how perfectly life works out.

When you are down, you believe that things never work in your

favor. But if you look back you see that, in many cases, things happened

exactly the way they needed to.

So I haven't added on in a very long time but here I am. They will get more frequent as I leave my family and do a second tour over seas for the military. Because I am deploying I have moved back home and I must say its very humbling to be 28 and moving back into mom and dads basement. It is the best option at the moment and I need to be close to my family before I leave. You never how short life can be. Since I've moved home I have seen my parents compete in their gardening. It is actually quite cute. I have talked to my mom about the weeds that have been growing along with her beautiful flowers. And how certain people, after seeing the yard in all of its vibrant beauty only point out the weeds. How depressing is that??? To be in the midst of one of Gods most beautiful creations and only see these uninviting weeds. The same goes with life. We are so focused on the weeds that we don't enjoy the enticing flowers of life. And so here is my quote for the day. While we are so busy looking at the weeds and feeling sorry for ourselves, we may not realize that maybe some weeds could do us some good. If it weren't for the weeds we would not enjoy the elegance of these flowers. My life has not turned out the way that I had imagined it. Far off. I've done and do things that not everyone would agree with. But the weeds in my garden are needed. They are just as much a part of me as the daisies are. I've come to believe that everything in life happens for a reason and that everyone is in your life for a reason. Whether big or small. Looking back over the years I have realized that I have gotten the exact "garden" that I have wanted. I went on the scenic route to get there, and I'm still not there yet but well on my way. Life is too short to focus on just the weeds. You pull them up or let them grow, either way they are always there. Enjoy the weeds and smell the flowers. Once you sit back and reflect the splendor of your "garden" and how wonderful how it is just to be able to be alive the weeds will appear small, compared the magnificence around you.

Actually... it's hardwork ever after....

Quote of the Day:

Stop looking for Prince Charming.

Cinderella's already got him.

--Ilene Beckerman

After a few conversations i've had with friends today, I came up with this idea for a post. Granted I've never been married but..... i've had alot of friends tell me their experiences and I've had some experience within the realms of relationships. This is what I have figured out.... That divorce is all Cinderella's fault. Ok maybe not just Cinderella, Snow White and Sleeping Beauty too. Ok lets just blame Walt Disney. He could be a catch all for all the problems in relationships and this is why; ever since we were five years old we've been brainwashed in thinking that once you find your prince charming you will live happily ever after. That is a good 15 to 20 years of brainwashing that we can't seem to get out of our heads. Once we start to date and get toward the marrying age we look for men that are in these fairytales. When we get older there are the chick flicks that we watch and sigh "I want to find a man like that!" Well the sad reality is that they don't exist! There is no such thing as prince charming, or the knight in shining armor. Its all jibberish!!!! Now ladies, I'm not saying that we should just settle for what is right in front of us. No, No, No, no. What I'm saying that we should know what WE want and WE shouldn't be afraid to go out and get it! I refuse to be the damsel in distress waiting for my hero to come along to sweep me off my feet and make my life happen. These ideas that we get into our head since the time we were five end up leading to disappointment. I was talking to a friend of mine who's husband, shall we say, is the girl of the relationship. He doesn't even do the stuff in the movies. Life is never going to be happily ever after. Neither are relationships. They are hard work and from both parties. If anything is one sided it won't work either. Believe me i'm an expert on that one. The sooner we realize, that just because men don't like to cuddle doesn't mean they love us any less, the better of we will be. But don't worry men, this doesn't let you off the hook either. Relationships are hard, and at one point one or both of you will want to get out, but if you both have the same end game in sight, you'll make it there together and live in hardwork ever after ;)

Quote of the day:

When you're feeling your worst, thats when you

get to know yourself the best.

--Leslie Crossman

This picture is unfortunately me. Ha ha I look hideous! This was me playin with my new web cam a little bit. But you don't know how many times I have looked in the mirror and seen and felt this way. All you ladies know what i'm talking about. I gotta tell ya its just felt lately like nothin I do is ever good enough. With anything! With school, work, and don't get me started on men, even with the military sometimes. There are things that I have just come to accept. Some of it is sad but i'm an emotional girl what can i say? Oh wait that is one of them! I'm a girl and I'm emotional. I know i will be even more so one week out of every month. I accept that. I also know and have accepted my luck with men, as pathetic as it is. I've also accepted that I will never be a size 2. or a 4. or a 6 for that matter. Nor do i want to. The upkeep is just too hard. Shoot I'd be happy with a ten right now. Its when ya sit down and look inward when you realize all of this and at times its very humbling. Doing your monthly soul maintenance to see if there is anything on the insides that needs some fine tuning. And its even more humbling when you find all these things that need it. So what do you do? Let it all out on the person that gets the highest emotional rise out of you and then you go work out. Which worked sadly, today.... why cant all my problems be solved chocolate and icecream. But those as good as they are, don't always help. Its looking deep inside and finding all the things that aren't quite right. Taking responsibility for them and deciding to change it.

Quote of the Day:

You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in

the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you.

--Walt Disney

I am not looking for any sympathy by this post, more like venting and looking for acceptance for myself. I am having a hard time not being angry, and like a woman, I am festering and dwelling on something that I should be letting go. But at what point do you let it go, or would you rather change something so you don't have to experience it again. I do not think of myself as a "fake" person. With me what you see is what you get, and if I'm betrayed, then I do not allow that person back in to let them do it to me again. Life sucks sometimes! It really does and at times you getting pulled in a million different directions and you don't know how you are going to keep all the pieces together. And then...... You get kicked in the face. What do you do in these instances? Do you start crying? The pain of that kick is evidently there, its not something that you can just forget about. Or do just keep plugging along like that kick never happened even though there may be blood loss, or in my case pride. How do you keep from getting kicked again? Well naturally you put of barriers so it won't happen again. But do you really want to walk around with these extra barriers up? It gets heavy at times. Which is why I may be struggling. I love this quote, because it shows me that in all bad things, there is probably a little bit of good that can come from it. There are times when we have to look really hard for the good, but it is always there.

Quote of the Day:

Optimist: Someone who isn't sure whether life is a tragedy or a comedy

but is tickled silly just to be part of the play.

--Robert Brault

I have not been on here in a while! Sorry I guess I just didnt have any insight or inspiration to share. School is out, yay! That was probably the hardest semester I've had and this next one is looking equally as promising. I forgot what it was like to not be so stressed out and allow myself to be happy. I'm getting deployed at the end of next year so i'm trying to get it all in so I don't miss any school. I keep telling myself that this will all pay off in the end. Unfortunately there is no end in sight. But...... I am thankful for the opportunity to be able to attend school in the first place. I am thankful that I have the opportunity as a woman to get an education and to be independent. I love this time of year! It makes me realize all that I have. I had the opportunity to help someone out with out them knowing it was me. And it brought me the greatest joy. I am thankful for the opportunity to help my fellow man. I am thankful for the strength and the compassion that God has given me so that I can reach down and pull some one up so to speak. When I graduated from Tech School with the Air Force one of my instructors shook my hand and said to me, "Now go change the world" and for some reason that stuck with me. My presence in Iraq or Afghanistan, or wherever my adventures take me, may not make a huge difference. Someone else could take my place and do the same job. But if I can change the world for just one person. If I can make a difference in atleast one persons life, if I can help ease the burden of a friend, then my job is complete. Parts of life are tragedies, while others are comedies, but you can't have one without truly appreciating the other. Each are equally important and they are both a part of life. So I am tickled silly to be alive.

Quote of the day

Yes one must suffer, even in vain, so as not to live in vain

Antonio Porcha

So I chose this quote for all of my suffering as far as school goes. Ha ha I meant it funny but it could be taken seriously as well. I haven't been on here in a while because I've been so busy with school. Also kind of numb with feelings and when I have feelings is when all of my inspiration comes. But I'm not complaining. I dont miss the drama or the stress that comes with those feelings. Through my busy times I've complained endlessly about the all the homework I've had to do and the lack of social life I've had. But I always told myself that it would be worth it someday. And I'm sure it will be when I graduate, but this quote isnt just for school. Its good for life as well. Life is so short. Suffering is apart of life. We gotta take the bad times with the good. Because with out the bad times you will never appreciate the good times. So we must suffer to live life. To experience it fully, if we didn't we would cease to grow and learn.

I'm a woman hear me roar!!

QUOTE OF THE DAY:

I could never at any age be content to take my place in

a corner by the fireside and simply look on.

Eleanor Roosevelt

I am 27 and single. I love in a state where it is really cool to get married at the age of 19. No offense to those who did, but thats just the way it is and I don't fit that mold. But living in this state I am looked at as if something were wrong with me. But eh its ok, I have been told alot by men that I have a lot going for me, that I have a head on my shoulders. And yet.... I'm still alone. Why? Ha ha only God knows. But many friends have told me that men are intimidated by independent self sufficient women. And to that I say who am I to be less of a person to help a mans ego? Forget that! I would rather be who I am for the rest of my life that be less than what I am. I don't really consider myself a feminist, I'm not a man hater by any means, I love men! But I'm not gonna wait around for one. I'm not gonna marry a man just to get married like some people do. I can go out and experience the world without one. I refuse to be one of those girls that needs to have a man around. I'll admit being alone sucks but thats not really what i'm referring to. I'm referring to how much we rely on them. I know a girl who had men wrapped around her finger to the point they would do anything for her. I'm talking about being self sufficient, women are and can be very strong and I don't think that we should hide our strengths but embrace them, Eleanor Roosevelt was an example of this and I love reading her quotes, they let me be the independent intimidating woman that I am and I'm ok with it! :)

Happy Veterans Day

Quote of the Day:

We shall not fail or falter, we shall not weaken or tire.....

Give us the tools & we will finish the job

Winston Churchill

For some reason this year for Veterans Day has been very important to me. I don't really know why. Maybe because it is the first year that I'm actually a vet. Or maybe its because my patriotism has increased. Or maybe it is because I know what some people have given up and what others have offered, and I have come to know what is expected of me. I was at walmart one day in uniform and this random woman came up to me to thank me for my service. My goal for life is to earn and live up to those thanks. I always get emotional when stuff like that happens and as I always get teary eyed when they play the star spangled banner or when I see an American Flag flying in the air. I take a moment to remember what it took to get the flag flying in the air. Many men and women have lost their lives and to them I am truly grateful. We may not support the president, and we may not agree with the war, but we need to support the troops that give up their lives and time away from their families. We are in it no matter what, and what we do isn't for the president or politics. Its for you. So thank you all who have served and who are serving!

What are little girls made of?

QUOTE OF THE DAY:

Women are never stronger than when they arm themselves with

their weakness

Marie de Vichy

I often compare the two things that I'm wearing in these two photos. I often tell people that when I put on that uniform its like wearing my superman cape. I feel like I can do anything. But I like this quote because I had to go through months of weakness to be able to wear my uniform. And as I prepare to deploy again I go through my weaknesses all over again. Wondering if I'm good enough, if I will be able to handle it, If I can do it. When I put on that superman cape I forget those weaknesses and realize that there is a job to do. I remember all the reasons that I do it. And I am grateful for those who have done it before me. This week especially being veterans day, I am grateful for all those who have sacrificed their time and their lives so that I may live in freedom. The greatest moment of my life is coming off of the plane from my deployment and seeing my family standing there, its a moment that I can not even begin to describe. It is for them that I do this. So my nieces and nephews can raise their families in freedom. It is for them that I crawl through my weaknesses in hope that somewhere somehow I will be able to make a difference with my strength.

QUOTE OF THE DAY:

Physical strength is measure by what we can carry;

spiritual strength is by what we can bear.

There are times in our life when we think we just can't take anymore. When it rains it pours right? Everything comes in threes? Nothing just seems to go right. Where do we turn when this happens? Do we blame all of the uncontrolled forces around us or do we look inward to see what we can do about it. Its not necessarilly about what happens outside of us, but more of how we choose to deal with it or bear it. After living in Utah for a while I noticed that there is a difference between being religious and being spiritual. They don't necessarily coincide. I've noticed that there is a lot of religion in this state but they lack the spirituality. I've met some very spiritual people who aren't religious. My friend for instance, who almost died from Crohns disease. I'm not sure of anyone who can be that close to death and not have a relationship with the Lord. I believe that it is when you have that close relationship with the Lord that you gain that spiritual strength, and that through him you can bear anything. Something that isn't guaranteed by Sunday attendance, but like any other relationship takes work, and not just showing up.